January 08, 2008

My wellness mindset newsletter

I have some exciting updates to share with you.  I’ve been busy cooking up a few new things for 2008.  One of them is the launch of my weekly wellness mindset newsletter “Well-Aware.”  I publish this newsletter for my coaching clients and other busy professionals who want to create a healthier lifestyle by building a wellness mindset.  The focus is on effective thinking.  Some of the topics I’ll be exploring are:

  • How to develop a mindset for health and well-being.
  • How to overcome limiting patterns of thinking and behavior.
  • How to maintain a positive mental attitude.
  • How to generate more “A-ha” moments and better insights.
  • How to listen to your body and your intuition.
  • How to discover your unique sources of wellness and vitality.
  • How to limit negative thoughts.
  • How to get yourself unstuck and moving in a powerful new direction.
  • How to use your mind for effective self-regulation.
  • How to persevere and reach your wellness goals.
  • How to leverage the power of proven methods for managing stress.
  • How to use mindfulness to change unhealthy patterns in your life.
  • How to figure out and focus on what’s important to you.

If you’d like to subscribe, just complete the form in the right-hand column of this blog (under my picture) or on my Buddy-in-Law coaching page

I also plan to focus more on the issue of wellness in the legal profession this year.  It pains me to see that so many talented and highly motivated people, who are very good at serving their clients, have trouble making decisions when it comes to their own life and well-being.  I know the traditional law firm culture often makes it difficult for lawyers to take care of their own needs.  But the bottom line is that the change starts with individuals, and we all need to stay well in order to work and live well.

I’d love to hear what your biggest challenges are when it comes to wellness.

Selfcare_small_web_view_2 Claim your best life now!

 

December 05, 2007

How attitudes towards intelligence affect the ability to learn

How we think about our intelligence influences our success as learners.  In her article “The Secret to Raising Smart Kids” in the current issue of Scientific American Mind, Carol S. Dweck, Lewis and Virginia Eaton Professor of Psychology at Stanford University and the author of “Mindset:  The New Psychology of Success,” describes two kinds of attitude towards intelligence that affect kids’ performance in school:  the “growth mind-set” and the “fixed mind-set.”  People with the “growth mind-set” believe that their intelligence can be developed through learning and hard work, while those with the “fixed mind-set” believe that their intelligence is static and cannot be improved.  A recent study has found that children with the “growth mind-set” perform better in school, show greater persistence when they face challenges, and are more enthusiastic about learning.  In contrast, kids with the “fixed mind-set” are more concerned about “looking smart” than learning, get discouraged with they encounter a problem, and avoid challenges.  These differences are also reflected in the workplace where people with the “growth mind-set” are more likely to mentor others and to welcome feedback because they see it as a tool for improvement.  Those who believe that their intelligence is fixed are likely to ignore their own shortfalls and shun criticism. 

How do you develop the “growth mind-set”?  The article suggests praising kids for their effort and hard work instead of their intelligence.  Students also benefit from learning about the brain and its ability to change and grow new connections.

November 26, 2007

Gearing up for work after holidays

As I am emerging from my turkey-induced coma, I think about the ways to ease the transition back into the world of work and productivity.  Here are a few things that seem to help me:

  • Schedule some thinking and planning time before you start the work.  Thinking about the work can serve as a bridge to actually doing it.
  • Get organized.  You need a routine that will keep you focused and moving forward.  As part of your planning, break down the task at hand into small steps.  It is easier to complete smaller parts of the project one by one than to tackle the whole project at once.  If you plan your exam preparation, check out my earlier post “Strategies and tools to plan your exam preparation.”
  • Make yourself commit to your plan by writing down a few goals for the day.
  • Boost your mood.  Before you start your work, read or listen to something that motivates you.  Start your work day off right!
  • Enlist a buddy to keep you on track with your plan.  Your buddy can help you stay accountable for your progress and cheer you up when you need support.  Positive social interactions have an added benefit of boosting your immune system.
  • Have something to look forward to.  Think of little rewards you can give yourself when you complete each part of the longer project. 
  • Accessorize. That’s right, add some flare to your surroundings.  Office supplies are not just about function.  Appearances matter when it comes to work motivation.  Visit Office Playground for fun office ideas.

What eases your transition to work?

Learnphoria_banner_2_small_web_vi_3 Refocus, Recharge, Rejuvenate!

What would it take to bring more energy and wellness into your life?  To adopt a healthier lifestyle? To nurture your Self?  Let’s explore it together.  Don’t give in to churn and burn.  Email me at support@buddy-in-law.com to sign up for a free coaching session.

November 16, 2007

Do you have a dreamboard?

Last weekend, my family was busy creating dreamboards.  It turned out to be a very enjoyable Dreamboard_3 exercise.  It is something you may consider doing with your family around the holidays.  A dreamboard is a collection of images that represent something you want to attain in your life.  You can clip inspirational pictures from magazines, add text or anything else you like and then attach everything to a poster board.  You want to choose a spot for your dreamboard where you can see it often.  The idea is to look at it, internalize it, and start manifesting your desires.  Here are my observations so far:

I am not very crafty, so I was surprised to see how engaging it was to search for images, clip and arrange them on the board.  I felt a bit like a kid at play.  Not something we do often as adults.    

It was easier to evoke emotions with images than with thoughts alone.  The exercise created a nice union of reasoning and feeling, which left me more inspired and determined to pursue my dreams.

Finding the right pictures took longer in the beginning, but as time progressed, good images began jumping out at me.  I think this was the result of letting my imagination run free. 

Occasionally, an image would catch my eye, but I wasn’t sure why I wanted it on my dreamboard.  The reason usually revealed itself if I looked at the image long enough.  To me, this just shows that we are not always conscious of what we really want, but we can get at it by noticing our emotions and listening to our intuition.  The process of creating a dreamboard increases self-awareness. 

I am not sure if I should ascribe any meaning to the actual positioning of the elements on my board.  It is something I still ponder. 

We actually talked about our dreamboards and the images we chose.  There was power in voicing and sharing our dreams.

I like looking at my dreamboard every day.  It definitely gives me more motivation to act on the things that matter to me.  I also like the fact that I can see all my dreams at the same time in one place, while I can only think of one or maybe two at a time. 

Dreaming doesn’t stop.  I will continue to add more images to my dreamboard. 

Do you have a dreamboard?  What does it do for you?

November 05, 2007

How to maintain a positive outlook when you are stressed

Is the stress of approaching finals getting to you?  If so, Law School Academic Support Blog has some advice on how to maintain a positive outlook in this challenging time and help others do the same. 

Are you too busy to even consider any positive changes?  In his article “Let Your Subconscious Mind Go to Work for You,” David J. Pollay describes an exercise you can do every morning to harness the power of your subconscious.  It won’t take a lot of time, and the results may be well worth it.

What do you do to manage your stress?

October 12, 2007

Small steps to a better life

Good changes come in small packages.  We don’t have to spend a lot of time and turn Live_well our life upside down to improve it.  Small things often have a big positive impact, and they are easier to stick to.  The challenge is to choose actionable steps or short routines that you can easily weave into the fabric of your day to brighten it up.  They may not solve your problems, but they can make you feel better about yourself and serve as a reminder to take care of your mind, body and spirit.  You can start with just one such life booster and then introduce more at a pace that is comfortable to you.  Here are a few things that I enjoy and you can try too:

  • Start your day by stretching for a few minutes.  I like the Sun Salutation sequence. 
  • Play your favorite tune as you are getting dressed in the morning, or better yet, sing it.  How about “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning” from “Oklahoma” – seems appropriate:

Oh what a beautiful morning,
Oh what a beautiful day,
I've got a wonderful feeling,
Everything's going my way.

Or choose whatever you like.

  • Set times throughout the day to do some deep breathing.  Most of us are shallow breathers.  Deep breathing brings more oxygen to your body and calms you down.
  • Choose to add a healthy fruit or vegetable to your daily diet.  Blueberries-brainberries are my choice. 
  • Meditate.  It is an amazing practice.  A 15-minute meditation session can bring more insights for me than a full day of hard thinking.   
  • Say affirmations or The Serenity Prayer, or simply read poetry.
  • Make an effort to connect to your friends or loved ones daily in an easy but meaningful way.  It can be a kind word, a phone call, a short email, a kiss, a note, a home-cooked meal – whatever works in your circumstances.  Send your loving energy with it.
  • Take a different perspective on something that tends to bother you or drain your energy.  Adopt a new more productive way to think about it and reinforce this new thinking with repetition. 
  • Keep a gratitude journal where you write down all the things you are grateful for.   

Your list may be very different.  The idea is to find something that makes your life better.  What is that one little step you can take today?  Let’s hear from you.

October 04, 2007

Don't let negativity bring you down

Easier said than done, but read the article "Beware of Garbage Trucks™" by David J. Pollay.  Perhaps, you can also benefit from the lesson he learned "in the back of a New York City taxi cab."

September 18, 2007

Orientation Series: 21 Steps to Becoming a Better Learner

Step 10:  Finding your sources of motivationSteps_small_web_view_3

I wish I could fly out of my bed each morning and embrace the day with unwavering enthusiasm.  The reality is that sometimes it happens, other times I need a push.  Law school is often a rollercoaster when it comes to emotions.  One day, you can look around your classroom in amazement that you have made it that far and be excited about your future.  Another day, self-doubt starts eating a hole in your shield of confidence.  When you feel down for whatever reason, it helps to look for internal sources of your motivation.   Here is how to begin:

  • Focus on your long-term goals.  Remind yourself why you went to law school in the first place.  Visualize your legal career as you want it to unfold.  If you were to write a script for a movie about yourself, how would you tell your story?  Are you a struggling character right now? 
  • Remember what you felt when you found out that you were accepted by the law school of your choice.  Re-live that joy and excitement. 
  • Picture yourself five years from now.  What would “You From the Future” tell “You in the Present”? 
  • Write down all the things you are grateful for at the moment.  Sometimes, we forget how good our lives are.
  • Notice what demotivates you
  • Talk to people who care about you.  We all need support from time to time.  Even if you are very busy, find time to connect with your family and friends.
  • Remind yourself that you are in control of your ship. You have the power to decide where and how fast you go.  Take an action that shows that you are indeed in control. 
  • Read autobiographies of people who inspire you. 
  • Notice what you tend to do or say to yourself when you lack motivation.  We often choose a behavior because it benefits us in some way even if we are not consciously aware of the benefit.  So next time you procrastinate, identify the upside of your procrastination.  Does it give you a potential justification for failure?  “Had I studied more, I would have done better.”  But because you don’t study hard enough, you always have an excuse of why you don’t do so well.  Face your fears and find a way to deal with them.      
  • Sometimes, just doing what must be done is the best way to overcome your blues.  Act your way to success.

What are your sources of motivation?

Orientation Series:  21 Steps to Becoming a Better Learner:
Step 1:  Setting your learning objectives
Step 2:  Taking an inventory of your skills
Step 3:  Taking an Inventory of Your Learning Tools
Step 4:  Finding opportunities for cognitive apprenticeship
Step 5:   Determining the "IIQ" of what you read
Step 6:  Choosing helpful books for law students
Step 7:  “The Three 'P's of Performance” in Action
Step 8:  Tapping into your social networks
Step 9:  Identifying your learning barriers

 

July 26, 2007

Want Happy News?

Positive Psychology News Daily can be your source of happy reading:Happiness

"Positive Psychology News Daily provides the latest news about happiness, the 'science of happiness,' and Positive Psychology.  Our goal is to be your fun, collaborative place for a research-based daily boost of happiness."

For example, the article "Using Your Strengths in the Job Search" by Senia Maymin encourages you to explore the relationship between your strengths and your job.   

"To what extent would you personally agree with this statement:  ‘At work, I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day?’   When Gallup asked this question, it found that only 20 percent of those surveyed said they strongly agreed with this phrase. Are you in that 20 percent, or is it maybe time for you to re-craft your job to match what you do best?"

She proceeds to discuss a job search trap that many job candidates fall into.  They often build their job interviews around the skills they demonstrated at their previous jobs.  But this strategy is going to get you more of the same type of work.  If you want a job that uses a different set of strengths, you need to know how to incorporate what excites you into your job search process.  The article has some suggestions for you. 

While we are on the subject of happiness, check out the happiness carnival at Think Happy Thoughts.

June 22, 2007

Tip Bit #25: Make a list of 5 things that you are excited about

If you need inspiration in your life, check out Pursue the Passion.  Here’s what the creators of the project say about it:

“Pursue the Passion started as a group of three recent college grads who embarked on cross country roadtrips to interview passionate professionals about their career paths. We created this site because we felt that others could benefit from these interviews, and use them to determine a direction to take their careers.”

In addition to great stories, I really like their series “5 Things I’m Excited About on a Friday.”   I think it’s a great way to fuel your passion and remind yourself how exciting you life is.  We all need it from time to time, and Friday just seems like a perfect day for this type of exercise.  The weekend is almost here, so dream a little, let your curiosity run free and find excitement in your life.  What are the 5 things you are excited about this Friday?   I’ll start:

  1. I am so excited that I am close to launching my online training course.  It’s going to happen very soon (more on it later).
  2. I am excited that the weather is promising to be wonderful this weekend, which means I get to spend more time outdoors, and I like that.
  3. I am excited to start reading “The Art of the Start” by Guy Kawasaki that I just got from the library. 
  4. I am excited my daughter learned how to stack building blocks.  She was really good at smashing my creations before, but now she can build tall towers on her own.  Silly things can make Mommy happy. 
  5. I am excited about my exercise and meditation routine.  I hope I can stick to it.  I want to be able to meditate properly for at least 20 minutes.  Right now, my mind is still dashing from thought to thought and my back starts aching after sitting still for about 10 minutes.  It will get better, right?  Practice, practice, practice.   

Who is next? 

June 15, 2007

Tip bit # 24: The Crock Pot Learning

The crock pot is a fine invention.  I don’t use it for many things, but boy, do I like the Slow_cooker beef stew prepared in the crock pot.  You chop up the veggies and meat, add broth and tomatoes, and then the crock pot magic happens, and 8 hours later, or better yet, overnight, you have a delicious  dish full of flavors with meat melting in your mouth. 

Why am I talking about the crock pot today?  Because just like you have to trust the crock pot to do its magic, there are times when you have to trust the learning process to get you where you need to be.  A preparation for the bar exam is a case in point.  You do your best listening to the lectures, reading, taking notes, reviewing, practicing, and trust that the magic is going to work and you will pass.  At any given moment, there is a huge amount of information thrown at you.  You don’t want to control every little detail because it’s not possible.  What you want to do is to start doing practice questions right away and keep doing it.  You won’t feel as if you know the law enough, but that’s OK.  You have to trust the process.  Practice teaches your brain to recognize patterns that are tested on the bar exam.  Pattern recognition is central to your success, and you can’t learn it just by reading and memorizing.  If you have to choose between practicing and reading the long outline, practice and review the answers.  And when you feel overwhelmed and insecure of your knowledge, remind yourself to trust the process to do its magic, no matter how slow your progress may seem, it’s just like the crock pot.       

June 06, 2007

How to turn boring into fun

Let’s admit, sometimes we just have to do the boring stuff and there is no way around Boredom it.  Is there a way to sweeten the pill?  Try the following strategies to add excitement to your boring tasks.

  1. Use fun tools, gadgets and accessories to do the task.  A nice pen, a sleek black Moleskine, a shiny techno-gadget can have surprising soul-soothing qualities and help to move you along.
  2. Schedule some fun to reward yourself for completing the boring project and instead of focusing on how bored you are, visualize the fun part.  The anticipation of the reward is a great mood-booster in itself. 
  3. Use the boring task as a procrastination method for something even less exciting.  When do you feel the urge to clean your house?  When you need to study for an exam or write a paper.  What is fun and what is boring is relative. 
  4. Approach the boring with the beginner’s mind.  You don’t know that it’s boring.  Is there anything new to learn from this task?  Do it and pay attention as if you were doing it for the first time.  Question how you do things and why.  Have you noticed how kids can be fascinated with most ordinary things?  How they really study an object, poke and prod and test it?  Unleash your own curiosity.
  5. Explain what you are doing to a child.  Their questions may force you to look at the situation from a different perspective.  They will make you wonder.
  6. Talk to a person who enjoys doing what you consider boring.  Their passion and commitment can make the most ordinary thing look extraordinary.  Enthusiasm is infectious.
  7. Role-play and pretend to be somebody who is really good at the task you are about to do.  What makes them so good at it?  Get into their mindset. 
  8. Capture the contrast.  Pair up your boring task with an activity that you enjoy.  Brew some good coffee, turn on your favorite CD.  You will feel better.
  9. Change the process.  Speed it up or slow it down.  Add a challenge.  Exaggerate or eliminate.  Do things differently. 
  10. Fuel your competitive spirit.  Find somebody how has to do the same thing and turn the task into a competition. 
  11. Change your physical environment.   If you task is portable, take it to a park, beach, coffee shop.   If you have to stay in the office or at home, change the lighting, turn on a water fountain, buy some flowers, put up a nice painting or poster on the wall.  Look for things that stimulate your senses:  smell good aromas, listen to soothing sounds, divert your eyes to take in beauty.
  12. Create a story around your project.  Define your goal.  Find your direction.  Are you a struggling hero in conflict?  Are you bracing yourself for a big obstacle to overcome?  Write the script and make it exciting.

    How do you fight boredom?

May 14, 2007

The Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania

If you want to be successful, you need to know how to leverage your strengths.  Peter Drucker said: "Most people think they know what they are good at. They are usually wrong." A good place to start exploring your talents is the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania:

“Positive Psychology is the scientific study of the strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive. The Positive Psychology Center promotes research, training, education, and the dissemination of Positive Psychology. This field is founded on the belief that people want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within themselves, and to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play.”

The Center offers a variety of scientifically tested questionnaires and surveys, including their VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire that measures 24 character strengths.  The tests are free, but you need to register.  While you are there, check out their newsletters on Authentic Happiness and the list of resources – that’s how I found out about the BBC series "The Happiness Formula."

May 11, 2007

Tip Bit #19: On art appreciation

It’s Friday.  Maybe, you have just finished your finals and feel tired and a bit empty Landscape_3 inside, or perhaps, your exams are not over yet and you have to push yourself to study some more.  Here’s a tip to lift your spirit, reignite your imagination and have some fun without leaving your home.  Visit a virtual art gallery.  You can find a lot of great artists from all over the world on the internet these days.  With a bit of imagination, you can transport yourself to some wonderful places:

Enter a whimsical world of figurative sculptures and art dolls at Art Propensity created by Patricia Anders

Pretend you are in a nineteenth century living room of an animal lover and enjoy the portraits of dogs at the William Secord Gallery (I had pleasure to visit the gallery in person – I know one of the dogs in this painting).

Tour isolated villages of the Sierra Madres in Jalisco, Maxico through the works of my artist friend Gene Romero. He has just recently gone virtual!

In mood for some landscapes?  Yuriy Kirsanov, whose photo I chose for this post, will take you to Russia’s countryside.   If you like photography, also check out images at iStockphoto

Get inspired by the winners of the Website Design Awards and the 2007 Winter Semi Annual Contest winners of the American Design Awards.

Look under your feet!  You can find amazing pavement drawings by Julian Beever.

Where do you go for art?

May 10, 2007

Let’s begin! (Part I)

"Too many of us wait to do the perfect thing, with the result we do nothing. The Start_line way to get ahead is to start now. While many of us are waiting until conditions are "just right" before we go ahead, others are stumbling along, fortunately ignorant of the dangers that beset them. By the time we are, in our superior wisdom, decided to make a start, we discover that those who have gone fearlessly on before, have, in their blundering way, traveled a considerable distance. If you start now, you will know a lot next year that you don't know now, and that you will not know next year, if you wait. "
The William Feather Magazine

You’ve probably heard the saying “to begin is half the work.”  It is also the hard part of the work.  Have you had trouble starting a thing or two?  Why is it so difficult to begin?  I think, it boils down to anxiety, uncertainty, lack of commitment, risk-avoidance and maybe, a few other things.  What is a good way to begin something?   Here are a few tips to get you ready to cross the start line. 

Start at the end.  That’s right.  Begin by imagining the end result of whatever you want to do.  George Bernard Shaw said: “Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.” If the outcome is compelling enough, the vision will propel you to action. If you can’t see the positive result, it may be a sign that you should not start. 

Take the bate.  Is there a part of the project that looks more appealing to you? Start there if possible.  Find the most exciting thing about the project and go after it.  The energy generated from such beginning will carry over to other less enticing tasks.  If you can’t find anything exciting, once again, it maybe a sign that the thing is not worth doing.  If you really have to do it, pair it up with some unrelated fun.  Make a deal with yourself that you will do the fun part first for a limited amount of time and then, you must do the boring part.  For example, you can watch one movie, but then you must start writing, reading, outlining, or whatever you need to.  That’s the reward upfront approach. The idea here is to put you in a good mood right away and mentally prepare you for other things to come.  This approach may help you if the promise of a future reward doesn’t do the trick.

Transform procrastination into the beginning.  Use your procrastination time to organize your thoughts, create a time-management system for your project, motivate yourself, rehearse ideas.  In other words, procrastinate with purpose.

Set a deadline to begin.  You have to set deadlines to get anything done.  Share your deadline with people.   If you make a public commitment, you are more likely to keep it.

Take small bites.  What exactly qualifies as the beginning?  If you need to write a paper, do you have to write a sentence, a paragraph, or a chapter to begin?  Subdividing your project into small easily manageable parts is a great way to conquer your fears and resistance. 

Enlist the help and support of others.  There is nothing like sharing your misery with somebody else (I am being sarcastic here).   Do you think runners would feel differently when they approached the start line if there were no cheering crowd around?  Surround yourself with energetic, caring and motivating people, and feel a sudden urge to begin. 

How would you begin whatever you need to do right now? 

Today’s tips are general and applicable to a variety of contexts.  It’s just the beginning (pardon the pun).  In Part II, I plan to address some specific situations, for example:

  • How do you begin writing a paper?
  • How do you being a job interview?
  • How do you being a presentation?
  • How do you introduce yourself to people?
  • How do you begin a cold call?

If you have any advice or a topic to suggest, I’d love to hear from you!
 

May 08, 2007

Five states of mind

Part of my exercise routine is yoga.  I’ve been doing it at home for years but recentlyMeditation  I’ve decided to join a yoga studio.  As I was researching my options on the web, I came across the article “Witnessing Your Thoughts in Yoga Practice” by Swami Jnaneshvara Bharati.  It talks about the importance of observing the “natural flow of the mind” to bring yourself to a peaceful state.  There are five states of mind in the yoga philosophy: 

1.  Kshipta / disturbed.  This is the agitated mind: 

“The ksihipta mind is disturbed, restless, troubled, wandering. This is the least desirable of the states of mind, in which the mind is troubled.”

2.  Mudha / dull.  You may be in this state of mind when you feel lethargic and sluggish.

“The mudha mind is stupefied, dull, heavy, forgetful.”

3.  Vikshipta / distracted.  This is the state of mind that lacks consistent focus.   

“The Vikshipta mind in daily life can concentrate on this or that project, though it might wander here and there, or be pulled off course by some other person or outside influence, or by a rising memory.”

4.  Ekagra / focused.  This is the mind of the focused attention. 

“When the mind is one-pointed, other internal and external activities are simply not a distraction.  The person with a one-pointed mind just carries on with the matters at hand, undisturbed, unaffected, and uninvolved with those other stimuli.”

5.  Nirrudah / mastered.  This is the ultimate state of mind in the yoga system, distinguished by control and stillness. 

“It is not that the thought patterns are not there, or are suppressed, but that attention moves inward, or beyond the stream of inner impressions. In that deep stillness, there is a mastery over the process of mind. It is that mastery that is meant by Nirrudah.” 

When you learn something new, the last two are the desired states of mind because they allow you to concentrate better and be more perceptive.  I am starting to pay attention to my state of mind. When I feel the need to quiet my mind, I do deep breathing exercises or meditate.

What state of mind are you in? 

May 07, 2007

On job search and networking

Are you looking for a job?  Do you want to learn the skill of business development and networking?Office_desk   Today’s round-up is for you:

Law Career Blog offers job hunting advice for 3Ls and recent grads.  I like the suggestion of being proactive, flexible and creative in your job search.  Some students buy into others’ vision of how things should be and adopt the victim’s mentality when things don’t turn out that way.  How do you make the best with what you have?  It takes courage, creativity and consistent work.  You begin by valuing what you have to offer because if you don’t value yourself, you can’t show your worth to others.  Take the challenge and write your own life story, don’t let others write it for you.  The upside is that you can learn so much more about yourself and your true aspirations in the process.   I suggest you sit down and make a list titled "Here's why I am so awesome!"  Place this list where you can see and read it often.  Strive to add new things to it each day as you go about your search for business.   

Do you want to know nine essential characteristics for making partner?  Inside Practice offers an excerpt from "Making Partner: A Guide for Law Firm Associates" by John R. Sapp.  Among those characteristics are “Maturity: You are in control of your life” and “Entrepreneurial attitude: You think like an owner rather than an employee.”  Now is the time to start working on those skills.  And if you already possess them, maybe you don’t need an employer.  Build A Solo Practice, LLC will help your to plan your own business venture. 

Here are a few nuts and bolts of networking.  Business Writing teaches you How to Ask a Stranger for a Favor and offers Great Tips for Email.  If you want advice on phone networking, listen to Escape from Cubicle Nation podcast Networking tip:  Use the phone! Finally, is your body language congruent with the words you speak?  Read about 18 ways to improve your body language from The Positivity Blog.

Happy hunting and gathering!

April 27, 2007

Tip Bit #17: Find out what demotivates you

We often look for motivation and overlook things that demotivate us.  Motivation is not Rabbit_with_a_carrot just about the presence of goals, purpose, energy and will.  It is also about the absence of certain things.  What are those things that kill your motivation?  Where do you look for them? 

Your surroundings.  Clutter demotivates me even though I have to admit that my now 16-month-old baby desensitized me a bit to this aspect of my environment.  A pile of blocks on the floor, a stack of old magazines to tear up and various squeaking things under my feet seem like a good bargain for a half-hour of uninterrupted work.  Is there anything in your surroundings that demotivates you? Any annoying noises?  An uncomfortable chair?

People.  Negative people have a great ability to demotivate, and so do rude people.  Limit your exposure to them if you can.   

Low energy level.  It’s hard to get excited about anything if you don’t have the energy.  Shortage of sleep and exercise, illness, poor diet can all contribute to the lack of energy and motivation.   Even eating a heavy meal can make you sluggish.

Stress and anxiety.  While short-term stress can add to your motivation, prolonged stress will most definitely diminish it.  And even though there are people who are motivated by fear, many of us find anxiety and negative thoughts demotivating.   

Your leisurely pursuits.  I am careful about what I watch and read.  There are many things out there that put me in a sulky mood.  On the other hand, being outdoors makes me more enthusiastic about things I need to do. 

What demotivates you? 

April 25, 2007

How do you deal with fear?

Whether we like it or not, fear is part of our life, and it is often part of the learning Fear process.  When we learn new things, we challenge ourselves, we venture outside our comfort zone, we grow, change, and redefine who we are.  That’s when we become scared.  What if I am not smart and capable enough to do it?  What would others think of me if I fail?  What would they say if I follow my gut instinct and not what everybody else says I should do?  How will I handle rejection?  Can I be financially secure?  How we respond to those fears has a huge impact on our success in life, happiness, and peace of mind.  So how do you deal with fear?

Do you feel that you must overcome your fear?  Is it stopping you from achieving more in life?  If so, read 5 life-changing keys to overcoming your fear at the Positivity Blog

“Can We Control Our Fears?”  Sevil Duvarci and Denis Paré tackle this question from the neuroscientists’ perspective. A recently published study suggests that “the expression of learned fear is flexible and subject to modulation by the prelimbic cortex, depending on the circumstances; our expression of learned fears is less rigid and less automatic than the expression of innate fears, which are beyond the reach of the cortex.”

Perhaps, you welcome fear.  You may even believe that if you don’t feel fear, you are not doing enough.  Fear may propel you to action.  Is Fear Actually An Asset?  It may well be according to Success from the Nest.  Get to know your fear and learn from it.    

Do you share your fear with others or do you hide it?  Executive Coach Doug Sundheim believes that revealing our vulnerabilities to others may strengthen our relationships and generate good energy.   He shares his 5-step approach at Fast Company Expert Blogs.  Interestingly, neuroscientists also tell us that social contact reduces the brain response to threat. 

Would you agree that fear is in the fabric of the law practice?  Lawyers work with people’s fears.  Sometimes, they alleviate fears, for example, when they do  a title search for the clients who want to purchase a home.  Other times, they seem to generate more fears:  just read the "default" language in a promissory note.  And then, there are circumstances when they have to say to their clients that it’s OK to be afraid and help them through their fears.   Do you acknowledge your clients’ fears?  Or would you rather shun the emotions and stick to business only?  What role does fear play in your practice?

April 20, 2007

Tip Bit #16: “Punch it, Chewie!”

Today’s tip comes courtesy of The Happiness Project.  When I read Gretchen Rubin’s Fake_it_till_you_make_it One big tip for changing the way you think on the use of catchphrases, I just had to share it because I am also a believer in brief, zesty expressions that can motivate and inspire.  They are like little verbal energy bursts.  Their brevity makes them more effective because your subconscious mind doesn't have time to “argue” with the message, like it may in case of longer affirmations.  So next time your self-doubt sets in, turn off the negative thought flow with one of these phrases.  Gretchen’s post has a list of her favorites.  I like “Punch it, Chewie!” from Star Wars, which is my equivalent of “Let’s do it!”  And when I look for a solution, I remind myself:  “The answer is closer than you think.”  What are your favorite expressions?

April 13, 2007

Tip bit #15: Think Big

We often get so busy with our everyday routines that we rarely take the opportunity toMountain  step back and think big about what we should be doing.  Today’s tip encourages you to do just that – think big:

Have a big vision.  To get inspired, listen to Big Vision Podcast:  Interviews with Individuals & Organizations Creating Positive ChangeHere’s the impressive list of interviewees.

Set big goals and participate in the “Gotta’ Get Goals” campaign

Ask big questions.  Read Chris Cree's question at Liz Strauss’ Successful Blog. 

Learn from big personalities.  By “big personalities” I mean experts in your field.  If you were given an opportunity to meet, take a seminar from or become an apprentice to any person of your choice, who would that be and why?    Do you know when and where you can hear this person speak? 

Create big value.  Whatever you do, define your value proposition.  Larry Bodine’s LawMarketing Blog has tips on how to articulate the value proposition for the legal services you offer.

Live big!

April 12, 2007

Three types of thinking in action

To continue with my “Thought-Full Series”, I though I would highlight a few examples of analytical, practical and creative thinking in action. 

You have heard of Tupperware parties.  How about using the same business model in the practice of law?  In the article “Where There’s a Will…”appearing in the April issue of the ABA Journal, Jill Schachner Chanen profiles Massachusetts attorney James Haroutunian, who launched “Have Kids, Will Party” after watching his wife successfully selling jewelry at the home-based jewelry parties.   Just like with other home-based parties, the "Have Kids, Will Party" host invites a group of young parents with basic estate planning needs.  Before the party, they fill out the questionnaire, have phone conversations with the attorney, who then drafts the legal documents and sends them to the clients for review.  As the party goes on, the attorney meets with each client in private and executes the documents.  With the growing interest, James Haroutunian is considering a franchise for the will-signing party.

Think you can’t have it all?  Think again.  In the April issue of the Young Lawyer, Colin T. Darke talks about how to “Feed Your Creative Side.”   The recipe comes from young attorney Marie Hejl who hosts a broadcast cooking show that airs on over 70 stations around the world.  And you thought you were busy.  In her interview, she reveals that her “passion outside of the law” helps to advance her communication skills and meet many different people in business and legal communities.  And that’s good for business.

As these stories show, you don’t have to follow the beaten path.  Be passionate, be creative, be smart, and you can create your own recipe for success.  Do you agree? 

April 10, 2007

Willful thinking: the “Gotta’ Get Goals” project

I was tagged by Stephanie West Allen of Idealawg to participate in Alex Shalman's "Gotta' Get Goals" project:

In a new blog post, list and write about the top 5 to 10 goals that you gotta’ get so that you can truly say you have achieved your wildest dreams in life. These have to be your best, most exclusive, and over-the-top goals that you can pick off your goals list.

Stephanie’s email created a chain of serendipity as the night before I was reviewing my list of 100 goals that I made after reading The Power of Focus by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Leslie Hewitt.  The review, in turn, was prompted by the talk by Dax Moy on the Anatomy of a goal that I recently listened to.   He reminded me of the importance of identifying why I wanted to achieve my goals and the price I was willing to pay for it because goals come with a price tag.   

I like the idea of letting my goals “age” like Champaign concealed from the world in dark cellars so that when the time is right, they can come to life with a celebratory pop and a splash of energy.  That’s why I have taken liberty to cloak my goals in the quotations I like, instead of revealing them outright.  Being indicative of my goals, these quotations inspire me and remind me why I do what I do.  They are part of my vision board.  I had fun selecting them and I hope you enjoy reading them.

  1. “We now accept the fact that learning is a lifelong process of keeping abreast of change. And the most pressing task is to teach people how to learn.”
    - Peter Drucker
  2. “There are three ingredients to the good life: learning, earning, and yearning.”
    - Christopher Morley
  3. “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”
    - Frederick Buechner
  4. “Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after.”
    - Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift From the Sea
  5. "The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love." - Anne Morriss
  6. “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
    - Anaïs Nin
  7. “Each day comes bearing its own gifts.  Untie the ribbons.”
    - Ruth Ann Schabacker
  8. “You have been given 86,400 seconds today.  Have you used one to say ‘thank you?’"
    - William A. Ward
  9. “If we want to simplify and deepen our lives, we must simplify and deepen our minds. When we become more centered, clear, spacious, caring, and open, there is suddenly much more room in our frenetic lives for both others and ourselves.”
    - Lama Surya Das
  10. The Law of Least Effort..."Today, accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. Take responsibility for your situation and for all those events seen as problems. Relinquish the need to defend your point of view."
    - Deepak Chopra, Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

If you want to share your goals with us, consider yourself tagged!

March 30, 2007

Tip Bit #13: On reflective learning

People like to be in control of what they do.  It applies to learning asTour_bus_3  well.  One way to make your learning experience more meaningful to you is to take time to reflect on the learning process itself.  Imagine that you want to go to Paris for vacation.  To see the city, you can either choose to go on a group tour with a guide or you can create your individual sightseeing agenda.  If it’s your first time in Paris, you don’t know anybody there and you don't speak French, a guided tour may be your best option:  you will be shown all the main points of interest and receive the basic information about the places.   However, if you are familiar with the city enough to decide what to see and how to organize your trip, you can create much more personal and meaningful experiences in Paris. 

How does it apply to learning?  Law school is in many ways like a guided tour with a busy schedule.  But when you get off the bus and have some free time, consider a few questions to orient yourself towards better learning experience.  What kinds of questions should you be asking?  Here are some examples for a weekly review:

  1. What confused you most in class this week?
  2. What is the best way to resolve your confusion?
  3. What key ideas and information did you learn?
  4. What was the most important idea you learned this week?
  5. What surprised, dismayed, delighted you most in class this week?
  6. How does your learning relate to the larger context of your life and work goals?
  7. Have you learned any practical skills, ideas, tools, techniques that you can easily apply to real-life situations?
  8. Have you learned anything new about yourself, your interests, feelings, values?
  9. What helped your learning?
  10. What interfered with your learning?
  11. What should you do more of?  What should you do less of?
  12. What is one thing (skill, habit, activity) you want to focus on next week?

March 26, 2007

Capture the contrast

Life is full of contrast.  We don’t always like it, but the contrast keeps theYin_yang  current of life flowing, forcing us to change, adapt, move forward.  There is no “hot” without “cold."  The balance of sweet and sour gives flavor to our food.  We can’t feel joy unless we know sadness.   Sometimes, the only way to discover what makes us happy is to experience what makes us unhappy.  How can we harness this power of contrast and bring more momentum and clarity to our everyday routines?  Here are a few things to consider:

  • If you have to do something that you don’t like doing, pair it up with an activity that you enjoy.  Maybe, a cup of good coffee will help you through a boring part of the textbook, just like a good CD makes a long drive more bearable. 
  • Reward yourself after you have accomplished a project that felt more like punishment. Come up with a reward before you begin the unpleasant task.  That way you have something to look forward to and keep you motivated.   
  • Play Devil’s Advocate.  When you prepare an argument, always consider the opposing points of view.  You will discover the weaknesses of your position before your opponents have a change to point them out. 
  • Stretch yourself by experimenting with the ways you do things.  If you read slowly, try speed-reading.  If you are used to typing up your notes, leave your computer at home and take notes by hand.  If you are usually quiet in class, force yourself to ask more questions.  Reflect on how it feels to do the opposite and how it affects the process and the outcomes. 
  • When you read a text in legalese, translate it into plain English to aid comprehension and practice effective writing.      
  • If you are quick to jump to conclusions, stop and ask how one could reach the opposite conclusion. 
  • When you evaluate a legal opinion, ask yourself what would have happened if the court had decided differently.  Think in terms of precedent, policy, outcomes. 
  • When you consider career paths or job offers, visualize yourself doing the opposite of what your initial choice would be.  Notice how it feels and how your body reacts.  Do the same exercise with the other options.    
  • If you have failed at something, ask yourself:  “What can I learn from this experience that will help me succeed in the future?”
  • Counteract the negative self-talk with positive affirmations. 
  • If you are angry, think of kindness.  If you are frustrated because you didn’t get what you wanted, express gratitude for what you have.  Start giving in order to receive. 

How else can you use contrast to your benefit? 

March 23, 2007

Tip Bit #12: Three easy ways to recharge yourself

One thing I am learning to do as I work is to recognize the point when I Water_with_lemon begin feeling fatigued and take a quick step to recharge.   If you spend long hours studying or working, watch for the following signs:

  • You begin yawning.
  • It becomes hard to concentrate.
  • You space out for a few seconds.
  • You rub your eyes.
  • You body feels stiff.

Aren’t you getting tired just after reading these symptoms?  When you start feeling this way, try the following easy steps to break the cycle of fatigue. 

  1. Take 10 deep breaths.  We are all guilty of shallow breathing.  When you are hunched over a book or the keyboard, you can’t fully expand the lungs.  Also, when people feel stressed, they tend to take short, rapid breaths.  When you feel tired, take deep, relaxing breaths to bring more oxygen to your body.  Are you feeling better already?
  2. Now it is time to stretch.  I like the Yoga Triangle Pose because it gives a good stretch to my whole body and releases the tension from the lower back.  Because it is a standing posture, I don’t even need a mat.  You can find the instructions and tutorial animation at the ABC-of-Yoga website.  As with any stretch, go slow and stop if you feel any pain.  The website describes many other poses, so you can choose the ones that you are comfortable with.  The tiredness starts to melt away.
  3. Finally, drink a glass of iced water with lemon.  Thirst causes fatigue.  The cold water wakes me up (and burns a few calories, as a bonus).   The fresh smell of lemon is invigorating.

These little interventions are easy to do and don’t take much time.  If you can’t take a nap or get to the gym, they can be your next best thing and a healthy alternative to reaching for more coffee and a cookie (I am writing this for myself and I should tape this to my coffee-maker).  What do you think?  Do you have any tips for a quick energy boost?  Please share them with the rest of us! 

March 19, 2007

The leftovers guide to productivity

As I was cleaning out my refrigerator yesterday, I couldn’t help but Kids_with_leftovers wonder about the similarities in the ways we deal with the leftovers and the ways we approach our projects.  What do you do with your leftovers?

  • Do you finish them even though the food may have lost its initial appeal?
  • Do you re-work them into something new and delicious?
  • Do you put them into the fridge and forget about them until a rather peculiar smell reminds you to check on your biological experiment?
  • Do you throw out the leftovers right away because you know that you won’t be eating them again?

Now, it’s time to see how you handle your projects.

  1. Do you always finish what you have started even if you are not as excited about the project as you were at the beginning?   If so, you certainly have the self-discipline and good planning skills.  And you probably accomplish a lot.  As long as you choose your projects wisely and don’t compromise on your taste, you are in good shape.  One thing for you to remember is that some projects, just like the leftovers, have an expiration date:  if a project goes bad, don’t be afraid to toss it. 
  2. Are you one of those lucky people who know how to breathe life into an old project?  You know where to look for inspiration to keep your projects alive and exciting.  You are flexible and you are not afraid to make changes as you go.  The only word of caution for you is not to lose the essence of your projects.  There is only so much you can do with the leftovers.  Sometimes, it is better to start from scratch.   
  3. Do you tend to start projects and then put them “on hold” when something better or more important comes along?  Do you have a long to-do list that keeps running through your mind?  Then, your head is probably full of mental “leftovers.”  Schedule regular times to clear you head by deciding what to toss, what to work on right away, and what to “freeze” till sometime in the future.  Planning and prioritizing will save your energy and make you more productive.
  4. Do you have trouble completing your projects?  Maybe, you have many interests and you are very enthusiastic to try out new things, but you get bored easily.   As a result, you struggle to stay focused.  Try “freezing” some of you "leftover" projects for future use and re-working the others.  Find sources of motivation to stick with the project at hand.  Circulate several projects so that you can easily switch from one to another when you get frustrated.  Revisit your inventory of "frozen leftovers" periodically to see when it is a good time to thaw them.  While variety is good, you don’t want to be wasteful. 

March 12, 2007

On rejuvenation

I just got back from Nashville, Tennessee; it was 70°F there and it Spring_trees made me realize how much I was looking forward to Spring.  I want to shake off the heavy coats and winter slumber.  I like Spring’s vigor, freshness, and the sunny disposition.  It is easier to get up early, there seems to be more hours in the day, and the air is full of good energy.   

Students enjoy their Spring Break around this time.  It may be a good opportunity to rejuvenate your spirit.  Do you feel tired and sluggish after long winter months?  What will it take to bring your life forces back?  As you celebrate the arrival of Spring, choose a few ways to nurture and nourish your body and mind:

  • Get out in the sun (don’t forget the sunscreen) and take longer walks to breathe in fresh air, smell the early flowers, and clear your head. 
  • Release emotional toxicity with the 7-step process from Deepak Chopra.
  • Get a massage.
  • Drink green or white tea to flush the toxins out of your body.  I recently bought this new LIPTON White Tea with Island Mango and Peach, and I love it.
  • Set a goal of eating a minimum of two pieces of fresh fruit every day.  Joe’s goals will help you to stay on track.
  • Find time to call your friend with whom you haven’t spoken for a while.
  • Incorporate at least some of these 52 Proven Stress Reducers into your life.
  • Find an art exhibition that you would like to visit in your area and go. 
  • Create a Spring reading list that includes books that you don’t have to read but really want to. 
  • Find time to appreciate what you have in life by recording your thoughts in a gratitude journal. 
  • Bid farewell to snow by making a snowman with your kids, classmates or co-workers, like these lawyers from a federal agency in Washington, D.C. did as part of their humor training.  Sounds silly?  That’s the point!  Lighten up and laugh!
  • Get inspired with 10 Timeless Lessons From Dalai Lama, discussed by the Ririan Project.
  • Start recording your favorite quotations.  I like this one by Anaïs Nin:  “There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”   

What do you need to blossom?

March 05, 2007

8 things that kill learning

Do you know what stands in the way of your learning?  There are many barriers to learning.  Difference people face different challenges.  As you are trying to identify yours, consider the following common enemies of learning:

  1. Prolonged stress or depression can affect your memory.  People who are under a lot of stress or suffer from depression show elevated levels of cortisol, a stress hormone that appears to shrink the hippocampus, a part of the brain associated with memory and other cognitive functions.   
  2. Lack of sleep can also impair memory and alertness.  Sleep allows us to consolidate memories, find creative solutions to problems, re-energize.  Don’t sacrifice sleep if you want to learn.
  3. Negative attitude towards learning can sabotage your efforts.  Maybe, school was hard for you and you convinced yourself that you were not up to the task.  Perhaps, you study only for external recognition, such as a degree, certification, or promotion, and you don’t value the process itself.  Or you feel guilty that you have been a student for far too long instead of making money in the real world.  What are your mental roadblocks to learning? 
  4. Irrelevance derails the learning process.  Would you rather learn one hundred made-up words that have no use in real life or one hundred words of Italian if you know that you will go to Italy in a month?   There are lots of things that compete for our attention at any given moment.  The information that is relevant to us and that we can apply in the real world has a higher chance of making it into our long-term memory.  Sometimes, the trick is to figure out how to make the material that you are studying relevant to your goals. 
  5. Too much explanation or too little explanation can inhibit learning.  Learning happens in stages.  When you are given lots of detail up front when you have not had a change to get the basics, you are likely to feel overwhelmed.  In addition, our brains are wired to solve problems.  We tend to remember things better if we have struggled to find the answer ourselves.  That’s why it may be counterproductive to start reading treatises and outlines before you have had a chance to grapple with the issues on your own.  On the other hand, the lack of explanation can leave us confused because we haven’t found a way to link the new information to what we already know.   As many things in life, it is a matter of balance. 
  6. Poor time management jeopardizes your learning objectives.  Learning requires the time commitment not only to acquire new information, but also to review regularly the old material.  You must develop a studying schedule and stick to it. 
  7. Lack of feedback hinders learning.  If you don’t get feedback, you can’t learn from your past actions and you can’t measure your progress. 
  8. Lack of support creates anxiety that’s not good for learning.  We learn better in collaborative environments than in highly competitive ones.  If you are afraid of making a mistake or being ridiculed, you won’t take risks and you won’t learn.

What kills your learning? 

February 28, 2007

Learn to fall forward

I saw a TV commercial yesterday that used the phrase to “fall Risk forward” as a metaphor for learning from your experiences.  I liked the association.  When you deal with your share of disappointments in law school, it helps to keep in mind that you are learning to fall forward.  If you play it safe, you eliminate opportunities for learning.  It can be scary to fall, you can get injured.  Lawyers may even be more risk-averse than the general population because the nature of their profession demands caution.  But since some falls are inevitable, you may as well learn how to fall forward in law school, which is a safer environment than the real-world legal practice.  So, how do you learn to fall forward?

  • Don’t be afraid to take calculated risks when you can get a high potential pay-off.  It may be worthwhile to join a law review or a moot court competition even if it means that you will have less time to prepare for your classes.  The pay-off is the skills you develop participating in those activities that make you more desirable to the employers.
  • Take challenging classes in the areas that are new to you. Stepping outside your comfort zone will increase you learning opportunities. Consider taking classes in other programs that are relevant to the area of practice you want to pursue.
  • Make sure you expose yourself to the teaching styles of different professors.
  • Ask questions in class if you don’t understand something. 
  • Get as much feedback as you can by voicing your opinions and comments in class and talking to the professors during office hours.   
  • Look for internship opportunities.  Practice your job interviewing skills.
  • Ask people whose opinions you respect to become your mentors.  If they say they can’t for some reason, ask them to refer you to somebody else who may be in a position to mentor you.
  • Participate in study-abroad programs to learn more about the legal systems of other countries and enhance your cross-cultural communication skills.
  • Learn to network by attending