How to develop your emotional intelligence

Learning has the potential to change people.   As people change, so do their relationships with others.  Sometimes these relationships change for the better and sometimes for the worse.  Today’s round-up is about the emotional intelligence and people skills that we all need to master our relationships. 

The first people to notice the changes in you are the people closest to you:  your spouse, significant other, your kids, your close friends.  Even if they want to be supportive, the change can be hard for them to accept.  Pamela Slim of Escape from Cubicle Nation offers great insights about relationship transitions in the article When you change, all your relationships change.   One of her tips is to “communicate clearly and frequently with those around you about the changes that are going on in your life.” 

Maybe, you sense that something is amiss in your relationship, but you can’t quite figure out what is going on with the other person.  Would you like to learn how to read people?  Life Training – Online offers the series on How to Read People.  It will show you how to develop the mental mindset of the “effective people reader,” how to master the techniques and how to determine if somebody is lying to you. 

You can’t read people unless you listen actively to what they are saying.  Inside Practice offers the excerpt on how to “Connect with Your Client through Active Listening” from The Successful Lawyer: Powerful Strategies for Transforming Your Practice by Gerald A. Riskin.  You must be able to hear not only the facts, but the emotions as well.

What if you hear anger? Can you deal with it?  Here’s a piece of advice from a Buddhist monk at ProBlogger. 

What do you do if somebody tries to put up barriers to your progress?  Listen to John H. Johnson’s lesson of success:  “Don’t Get Mad, Get Even.”   Belief in yourself and perseverance are the best answers to those who doubt you. 

There comes a time in our career and personal life when we need to apologize to others.  It may not be an easy thing to do for a lawyer.  We are trained to assign blame, not to accept it.  Cheryl Stephens of Building Rapport shares the results of her research on the subject of apology in Apology – the Unknown Universe.  Brad Shorr of Word Sell offers tips About Writing Letters of Apology.   

Finally, Dr. Tammy Lenski talks about a neat mood-visualization tool – MoodJam.  It is a free service provided by the MoodJam Research Group in the Human Computer Interaction Institute at Carnegie Mellon University.  It allows you to visualize your moods in color strips.  You can then share your moods with those around you to let them know when you are safe to approach and when they should stay away.

Comments

[Brett]

Great post. After reading "A Whole New Mind" I've made it a goal to make developing emotional intelligence a priority in my legal career. Thanks for all the good links to help!

[Anastasia]

Thank you, Brett! I just ordered "A Whole New Mind" and can't wait to get to it.

[Brad Shorr]

Thank you for the mention. Great post--the subject of emotional intelligence deserves more attention than it gets, especially in the corporate world.

[Anastasia]

Thank you for stopping by! Word Sell is a great resource.