Lawsagna

The stressful way to happiness

If learning a new skill is stressful for you, don't despair.  According to a new study, people who work hard at improving their competence at something may feel stressed in the moment, but experience greater happiness on a daily basis and longer term. 

The study examined whether people feel happier when they fulfill certain psychological needs, specifically, the need to be competent, to feel connected to others, and to be autonomous or self-directed.  ScienceDaily reports in the article "No Pain, No Gain: Mastering A Skill Makes Us Stressed In The Moment, Happy Long Term":

Contrary to previous research, the study found that people who engage in behaviors that increase competency, for example at work, school or the gym, experience decreased happiness in the moment, lower levels of enjoyment and higher levels of momentary stress. Despite the negative effects felt on an hourly basis, participants reported that these same activities made them feel happy and satisfied when they looked back on their day as a whole. This surprising find suggests that in the process of becoming proficient at something, individuals may need to endure temporary stress to reap the happiness benefits associated with increased competency.

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While behaviors that increase competency were associated with decreased happiness in the moment, people who spent time on activities that met the need for autonomy or feeling connected to others experienced increased happiness both [on] an hourly and daily basis. The greatest increase in momentary happiness was experienced by participants who engaged in something that met their need for autonomy -- any behavior that a person feels they have chosen, rather than ought to do, and that helps them further their interests and goals.

According to Ryan Howell, assistant professor of psychology at San Francisco State University, these findings may have implications for workplace stress management: 

Our results suggest that you can decrease the momentary stress associated with improving your skill or ability by ensuring you are also meeting the need for autonomy and connectedness, for example performing the activity alongside other people or making sure it is something you have chosen to do and is true to who you are.

New Legal Resource : Laws.com (Guest Post)

There are thousands of laws in the legislation of the United States.  Understanding every single law is an impossibility, especially for the general public.  In reality, legal information is one of the most complicated topics in the entire world. 

Fortunately, Laws.com is one of the largest online resources specialized in legal information.  We have information regarding the many different aspects of law.  Whether you are struggling with a divorce, issues of immigration, accidents & injuries, bankruptcy or any other legal issue, there is a section with information that fits your issue.  We also have information regarding the many different types of attorneys out there, including DUI or Family Law attorneys.

Even if you only need a simple legal question answered, such as "What is the difference between civil and criminal law?"  We've got you covered. 

How to deal with difficult people, rejections, and negative opinions of others

How do you deal with difficult people?  Are you bothered by conflicts, rejections, or negative opinions of others?  Most of us are.  Somehow, it's hard to stay detached and let go.  Some of us spend much time reflecting on past conversations, thinking of what was said, and how it was said, and what it meant.  

I notice how my 4-year-old daughter is learning her social skills.  When she comes back from her playschool, she now likes to talk about who her friend is and who isn't, and who is "mad" at whom.  Their friendships and preferences come and go, and their little disagreements and disappointments with one another are easily forgotten.  It's all light-hearted at this point.  Interestingly, it is in this tender age, before our cognition is fully developed, when we form many of our subconscious brain maps and beliefs.  And as we grow, these subconscious beliefs may make it more difficult for us to forget, forgive, and move on.

The good news is that we can change our reactive patterns.  We cannot control other people's behavior, so the best approach is to learn to manage our own responses.  It becomes easier if we understand how our brain responds to perceived threats.  Because so many of our beliefs are subconscious, as adults, we may not even be aware of what pushes our buttons and why.  We may just notice that we become defensive, stressed, or self-critical.  If the brain recognizes something as a threat, it activates the amygdala, which is part of the limbic system of the brain, responsible for the emotional control and memory of our emotional reactions.  The limbic system can process something as a threat even before the stimulus reaches conscious awareness, triggering the "fight or flight" response. Our body is then flooded with cortisol, and the decision-making and rational parts of the brain shut down to mobilize our resourced for the attack or retreat.   

In addition, the brain evolved to be sensitive to status and authority, i.e. how we look relative to someone else.  As a result, we tend to worry about what others think of us.

Sometimes, just understanding these "quirks" of the brain and becoming aware of what's happening to us in the moments when our buttons are pushed can be helpful. Reframing the situation to lessen the threat is also helpful. We can change the brain's processing of our usual triggers if we consciously choose a behavior different from what we tend to do.  In other words, we can create new neural pathways in the brain with better responses.  So, once we become aware of what's happening, it helps to switch our mind to something that produces positive emotions fast and can reward the brain with the "feel good" molecules, like dopamine. The quicker we can replace the negative reaction with a positive one and the longer we can sustain the positive, the easier it will be for the brain to rewire itself. 

Next time you have to deal with negative reactions, difficult people, or explosive situations, start practicing this "reframe-switch-sustain" approach.  A similar process was used by psychiatrist Jeffrey Schwartz to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder patients and described in his book "Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior."   The consistent application of his neuroplasticity-based technique helped the patients improve their OCD symptoms and caused the corresponding physical changes in the brain, which were confirmed by brain scans.  This practice can also help us with our everyday worries and anxieties.

Finally, it's good to remember that our brains are social and mirror emotional responses.  We have the power to manage our own reactions and help others step out of their trigger points if we engage with love, kindness, fairness, and support.

Recharge Your Brain - Brain Minute Video